Thursday, July 20, 2006


You know when you break up with someone and you know that even though it’s for the best, some small part of you will always wish you had stayed with them?

Me neither, but here’s one thing I do know…. old men LOVE golf.

I know this because lately I’ve been trying to find a great 40th birthday present for my current soul mate and I’ve been doing some searches online. I challenge you to find one website that does not reinforce the notion that the only thing any 40 year old man could possibly want is a golf club and a watch.

Apparently, everyone on earth is under the assumption that on the day a man turns forty he says to himself “Well, I can see by my Omega here that it’s 4:17. Guess I’ll go play some golf.”

The man in question already has a watch, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say anything about golf… although maybe it’s one of those brain chemical things, like when men hit 40 all they can think about night and day is golfing… you know, kind of like women and babies when they hit 30.

Maybe not, maybe that’s just the stereotype.

That got me thinking about stereotypes in general… obviously, the 40-year-old white man/golf one wouldn’t have worked out for me, but I bet it would have worked out for 9 out of 10 people.

We’re all raised to believe that stereotyping is wrong and unfair, but the more I think about it, the more I realize most stereotypes have a purpose…. And that purpose is shopping.

If someone was looking for a gift for me, and typed all my info into some sort of giant, stereotype producing machine (like my father for example, or perhaps some sort of computer) I bet I’d end up getting a gift I’d really like.

Maybe I’d get a big, diamond paved Star of David necklace from Tiffany’s, which would be great. Maybe I would get a skull and cross bones sweater from Betsey Johnson. Maybe I’d get a giant bottle of Valium, which would be pretty sweet, too.

I know if I was a black person, and someone gave me a great big bucket of fried chicken as a present, at first I’d be like “Wow, that kind of fucked up” but then a few minutes later Id be like “I fucking LOVE fried chicken! This is awesome.”

When my unmarried, 19 year old friend in college got pregnant and had a baby shower, I bought her a pack of RU486 and some condoms. Yeah, it was a little rude, but come on…. we all need a little push in the right direction sometimes.

My ex-boyfriend was Italian. You think I got him a dictionary for his birthday? No, I got him the nicest gold plated Jesus pendant they had on the whole truck.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong, all I’m saying is there’s a fine line between stereotyping and knowing your audience.