Sunday, February 11, 2007

Gay, Straight or Taken?

There’s a phenomenal new show on TV these days, and I feel it’s my personal responsibility to tell everyone about it... it’s called Gay, Straight or Taken? and it’s pretty much the only thing I watch.

The premise of the show is simple, and awesome. Some chick goes out on a date with three guys, only to discover one is gay, one has a girlfriend or wife and the other is single, straight and available. If she guesses correctly which is which, she gets to go on vacation with the single straight guy, if she picks someone else as the single straight guy, he goes on vacation with his boyfriend or girlfriend.

The main reason I love this show is because it reminds me a great deal of a game I like to play, called Gay... or Can Probably Be Talked into Sleeping with Me. Unlike my game, the gay guys KNOW they're gay and you can’t go on vacation with the married guys.

At the end of the date, the girl takes each guy aside and says something like “Rob, I had a really good time with you, but I think you’re taken!” and then Rob says “Oh! You got me there! I’ve actually been married for five years!” then they laugh and laugh. Just like a real date.

As good as the show is, based on my own life experiences,I think there is still room for improvement. I suppose the format makes sense for LA, where it’s shot, but if they ever do a NY version, I think I could help them. Instead of Gay, Straight or Taken, I think it should be Gay, Taken or Straight and Single but with a Horrible Secret.

Three men vie for your affection, but ones gay, one’s taken and one is available and straight but has a criminal record for child molestation.

One has a husband, one has a wife, and one can only get turned on if you dress up like a clown and tickle his feet.

Gay, Taken, AIDS victim.

Still, I’d love to get in on the ground floor before this show gets any more vindictive. So, if any of you out there know anyone in anyway related to the production of this show... please put in a good word for me!

Bear in mind that I have extensive reality TV dating show experience. you may remember me as The Drunken Obnoxious Mess from Blind Date. Or perhaps from my Elimidate fame, where I played The Drunken Obnoxious Mess to great critical acclaim. Or perhaps from your own experience of dating me, which is doubtfully any different.

Thanks in advance.