Wednesday, June 28, 2006

A Lone Carrot in a World of Nuts

So, I sent a bunch of friends this brainteaser thing. You’re supposed to read these prompts, and then they ask you to name a vegetable and you’re supposed to say carrot.

I don’t know why I wanted to make my friends say carrot. I just did. I don’t know why you say carrot, but 98% of all people do.

I did. My sister did. Supposedly, only the mentally challenged 2% think of a different vegetable.

This may not come as a surprise, but hardly any of my friends thought of carrot. THAT’S what’s been going on all these years! I’m not the freak show…. my friends are!

Big Big said carrot, and we all know her brain functions as conventionally as is humanly possible.

I always assumed I was in the minority, and that my brain chemicals were just telling me things no one else would ever think of, but all along, I was the control group. CREEPY.

When I hit puberty and all of my friend’s brains were wired to tell them to start thinking about having boyfriends, and mine told me to count to four repeatedly the entire day and never let my feet touch the ground for more than 5 seconds at a time, I kind of felt like the odd man out, but no.

If this test is to be believed, I was the sane one and they were the nuts. I KNEW there was something not quite right about wanting to drink light beer and make out with a 13 year old boy in your parent’s basement!

Or in college, when al of my dorm mates were getting dressed up to go to the bar, and I was using my room mates make up kit to create a convincing looking herpe on my face so no one would try and talk to me… guess I was in the right then too.

You hear that, you guys? I am the normal one! I said carrot, just like everyone else in the world. Suckers!

One person said corn, one said string bean, one said celery, one broccoli… I have surrounded myself with people whose thought processes is even more deviant than my own, and as far as I’m concerned that is my greatest accomplishment to date.

Incidentally, my dad said eggs.