Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The Two Finger Diet

I don’t know who the hell Katherine McPhee is, but I do know I have to see her fat ass on the cover of every magazine I pick up and it’s really starting to piss me off.

Turns out she was on American Idol… but get this, she didn’t even WIN. No, she’s famous for being bulimic.

I can understand struggling with bulimia…. It’s actually way harder than it looks. Especially if you suck a lot of cock, because that really builds up your gag reflex.

But now, Star and US weekly and People have informed me, she has lost a ton of weight the healthy way, through “intuitive eating”. If that’s not the most bizarre euphemism for coke addiction I don’t know what is.

I don’t know why this bothers me so much… I suppose it’s because everyone I’ve ever known has had an eating disorder, and none of us gets to be on the cover of anything.

Also because I recently had the epiphany that I am too poor to be bulimic. Unless I want to binge on Costco bulk food, I can’t even afford enough food to make vomiting worth my while.

Seriously though, let’s analyze this picture for a moment, shall we? OBVIOUSLY this girl is struggling with bulimia… if she had gotten it right, her arm wouldn’t look like that. Maybe if she focused a little harder on vomiting or singing she won’t be a loser at both.