Friday, June 02, 2006

A Farewell To Crazy Time

Erin says if I dont stop posting my bizarre inner thoughts, people are going to start thinking Im crazy.
With that in mind, Id like to tell you about Crazy Time...

One of the few joys I derive from life is my special, alone time that I like to call "Crazy Time".
Crazy Time occurs when someone (friend, lover, stranger) is stupid enough to leave you unattended with their personal belongings for more than 3 seconds.

As the name implies, once you are left alone, you get to go totally fucking crazy.
You can go through their drawers, their bags, look in their closets and under their beds, scan their text messages, peruse the history of their internet searches, just about anything that you can cover your tracks for by the time they get back.

Non-crazies may wonder what the purpose of crazy time is. Let me tell you, once you try it, youll understand.
You probably already spend a little Crazy Time of your own, now and then. When you spend the night with some one new, and they leave their medicine cabinet open... just a crack... or when the person who used a computer right before you forgets to sign out of their e-mail account. You cant help but sneak a quick peak, and that is the essence of quality Crazy Time.

Since I am in a "trust" based "relationship" with my "life partner", I no longer get to indulge in Crazy Time at his apartment, and I have to say its really left a gaping hole in my existence.

Gone are the days when just going through his dresser and counting his condoms to see if he had used any since I had been over last could satiate me for the entire day.
No longer can I go on the intensely satisfying, early morning search and destroy missions for errant pictures of his exes.

Ive tried spending my Crazy Time at friends places, but I already know everything about them, so the thrill of discovery is muted at best.

The best Crazy Times were at the apartments of new guys I was dating. Going through their sock drawers... rifling through the shoeboxes at the back of their closests, hacking into their Ofoto accounts... you know, life's simple pleasures. But thats all over now too its so sad.

If you too enjoy some Crazy Time now and then, please tell me all about your findings. and let me bask in the vicarious glow.