Thursday, November 09, 2006


As well we all know, Justin has brought sexy back. I'm going to one up him. I'm bringing sticker collecting back.

Lets all try to think back for a moment to a simpler time... a time when all we needed to be happy was a brand new Oilie from Big Top. Maybe a nice pack of fuzzies, too.

Right before I discovered alcohol and pills... probably when I was about 9, all I cared about it the world was my sticker collection, and my Slam Book. Those were the staples of my very existence.

All my girlfriends (and I say girlfriends, as in little girls who were friends with me, not as in prepubescent women I dated, and not as in "Hey girlfriend, how you doin'? I hear you got a nice new place in the West village") would gather after school and trade stickers for hours.

There was a very rigid and exacting hierarchy as far as stickers went. Oilies and fuzzies were the best. Holograms and glitteries came after that, and then everything else was third rate.

Everyone had their own sticker philosophy; some felt it was best to buy mass quantities of the high grade stickers, and hold on to them, thus having the most prestigious and envied collection while others felt it was more beneficial to diversify, and would buy oilies and trade them for mass quantities of lesser stickers.

It was very intense being part on the trading floor for that first hour. We ran around like crazy and communicated mostly through inarticulate grunts and complex hand signals... it was almost as if we were imitating our fathers and their busy days on Wall Street... which we might have been... had they been around enough to imitate... which they weren't... different story.

Anyway, I miss those days. I really want to start collecting stickers again. I wish there was some baby I could pretend I was doing it for. Maybe I could say they were for my cousins? They seem to be more into make up though. I could totally pretend they were for Anoosh's kid if he were a girl... stupid Y chromosome.

After collecting stickers got old, I started collecting business cards. Everyone said they would do it with me, but when they realized I was serious, they all reneged. From age 12 to age 18, I collected guys business cards. I had six full books worth. God it was awesome. Then my stupid boyfriend made me throw all of them out. I cried for a bout a week, which incidentally, is several days longer than I cried when I broke up with him.

Now I don't have anything to collect, and it looks as if it might be time to start with stickers again.

Ahhh, circle of life.